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Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects? 7aLVy
Demonstrating culture of society in which art plays an influential part has a lot of significance. It is clear that teaching art to the children is necessary but other subjects are equally valued. This essay will elaborate both aspects of this statement. It is proven that, art plays a significant role during childhood. When youngsters grow up in creative environment, they often acquire artistic skills and basic aspects like problem solving ability. For example, a study conducted by psychology department found out people who learned art amid childhood are more successful in life. However, learning other subjects which would lead to various professions is also beneficial. Teaching other subjects in early days finds out the interests of a child as well as builds up knowledge. For instance, multidisciplinary study had helped many students set an aim in early age and obtain their favourite career. Overall, it can be said that studying art can help in improving mental abilities but children who learned through a variety of subjects have better sense of their surroundings.
Demonstrating culture of society in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
plays an influential part has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
significance. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
to the children is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
equally
valued. This essay will elaborate both aspects of this statement. It
is proven
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
plays a significant role during childhood. When youngsters grow up in creative environment, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
acquire artistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and basic aspects like problem solving ability.
For example
, a study conducted by psychology department found out
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who learned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
amid childhood are more successful in life.
However
, learning other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which would lead to various professions is
also
beneficial. Teaching other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in early days finds out the interests of a child
as well
as builds up knowledge.
For instance
, multidisciplinary study had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students set an aim in early age and obtain their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
career.
Overall
, it can
be said
that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in improving mental abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
children who learned through a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
have better sense of their surroundings.
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IELTS essay Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
173 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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