Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Art is considered an essentails part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is ? What could be done to encourage more people to take intrest in the arts ?

Art is considered an essentails part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take intrest in the arts? RNyVW
Arts carry our heritage to the future generations, It has a prominent role in the world history. Many generations learned theirs cultures through arts and carried out the legacy to their near future generations. I would like to discuss few points about the rollout of the significance of culture and suggestions for the betterment. Firstly, Arts reflect our ancient livelihoods, cultures, etc. There are cases where it shows the worst hits occurred in the past like floods, earthquakes, etc. We all knew that many kingdoms which are ruled by kings across the world gave significant place in their governance. They are always passionate about arts and encouraged them by providing good gifts for their work. These led the people to develop skills and took it as a profession. But in nowadays due to the global civilization, people are busy with their works and even not encouraging their kids to learn some arts as it has very few job opportunities in the market. And the pay which is getting in that domain is less. Certainly, they are choosing other technologies as a main source of their subjects and getting huge returns post-education. Secondly, In order to push up the arts, the government has to take proper steps from their end. They have to make arts a mandatory course in their education system. This gives more graduates from the Arts platforms. Universities have to provide additional funds for the graduates in form of scholarships to avoid cope financial deeds. Government has to create opportunities for the arts groups as well. The most significant thing is parents mindset has to change if any student is interested in Arts they have to permit them to learn. By doing all this we could create positivity in the arts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
carry our heritage to the future generations, It has a prominent role in the world history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
generations learned theirs cultures through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and carried out the legacy to their near future generations. I would like to discuss few points about the rollout of the significance of culture and suggestions for the betterment.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
reflect our ancient livelihoods, cultures, etc. There are cases where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the worst hits occurred in the past like floods, earthquakes, etc. We all knew that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kingdoms which
are ruled
by kings across the world gave significant place in their governance. They are always passionate about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and encouraged them by providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
gifts for their work. These led the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and took it as a profession.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
due to the global civilization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are busy with their works and even not encouraging their kids to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few job opportunities in the market. And the pay which is getting in that domain is less.
Certainly
, they are choosing other technologies as a main source of their subjects and getting huge returns post-education.

Secondly
, In order to push up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take proper steps from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
a mandatory course in their education system. This gives more graduates from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
platforms. Universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide additional funds for the graduates in form of scholarships to avoid cope financial deeds.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
create opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
groups
as well
. The most significant thing is parents mindset
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
if any student
is interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
permit them to learn. By doing all this we could create positivity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Art is considered an essentails part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take intrest in the arts?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Art is considered an essentails part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is ? What could be done to encourage more people to take intrest in the arts ?