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Around the world, the rich are becoming richer and poor are becoming poorer. What is the cause of this? What solutions are there to tackle it?

Around the world, the rich are becoming richer and poor are becoming poorer. What is the cause of this? What solutions are there to tackle it? jo9Kw
On the ground, in these days money can anything, and it is clearly seen from the life that wealth people are becoming rich and poor are becoming poor. In this essay i will see and write some causes as well as solutions for this causes. There are various reasons why plethora of people are wealth and poor. On the society level, it is believed that popularity of my hometown are able to work hard. First of all, rich person work from morning to evening that’s why they are rich but poor person is not able to work hardly. Secondly, the rich focus on being rich so they get the stay wealth, the poor focus on being poor so they get the stay poor. Thirdly, plethora of people study to enroll to the university in order to find in well-paid job. That’s why they are becoming wealth. Unfortunately, poverty-stricken people do not have desire to study and work in perfect job because they are addicted to the poor life. Finally, a lot of people are diligent. For instance, tomorrow they will attempt to earn more money than today but poor individuals are lazy and coward. They are afraid to start something that’s why they are poor On the other hand, I believe that per person is able to get rich. Solution for first cause is everyone should work hard in order to be wealth. Second solution is they have to motivate, support and train their brain in order to be an intelligent. Next solution is, the ought to study and get knowledge in order to work in the perfect workforce. Last solution is, plethora of people should be an intelligent and psychically strong. In conclusion, from a personal perspective, anything require a desire. If they do not have desire, they can not commence from scratch
On the ground, in these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
money can anything, and it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the life that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
are becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. In this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and write
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes
as well
as
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solutions
for
Did you mean "these"?
this
causes. There are various reasons why plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. On the society level, it
is believed
that popularity of my hometown are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from morning to evening that’s why they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
person is not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hardly.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
focus on being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
focus on being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
Thirdly
, plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
study to enroll to the university in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to find in well-paid job. That’s why they are becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
. Unfortunately, poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have desire to study and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in perfect job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are addicted
to the
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poor
life.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are diligent.
For instance
, tomorrow they will attempt to earn more money than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
individuals are lazy and coward. They are afraid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
something that’s why they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
On the other hand
, I believe that per person is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Solution
for
first
cause is everyone should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
. Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
motivate, support and train their brain in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to be
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
an intelligent
.
Next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is, the ought to study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the perfect workforce. Last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is, plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be an intelligent and
psychically
strong.
In conclusion
, from a personal perspective, anything require a desire. If they do not have desire, they can not commence from
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
scratch
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IELTS essay Around the world, the rich are becoming richer and poor are becoming poorer. What is the cause of this? What solutions are there to tackle it?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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