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Argument: More and more young people use the Internet to socialise. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Argument: More and more young people use the Internet to socialise. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? w5en
People are having a hard time reaching consensus on whether using the Internet to socialize is a positive or a negative trend amongst young people. To my mind, socializing online is a negative development. There is no doubt that social networking websites have caused more problems than merits. For one thing, cyber bullying poses a real threat to the wellbeing of young people. As a matter of fact, cyber bullying happens on a daily basis on most social networking websites such as Facebook and Twitter, which has led to the increasing suicide rate among youngsters. For another, socializing online gives young people fewer chances to practise their interpersonal skills, especially face-to-face communication skills. Undeniably, nowadays more and more young people prefer texting each other on Facebook as opposed to speaking to each other in person. Besides, too many youngsters spend too much time on social networking websites, which wastes their precious time that should be spent studying. More precisely, most teenagers spend more time chatting with others online rather than do their homework at home. To be sure, social networking websites also provides young people with the convenience of contacting friends that are far away. This is reasonable to the extent that some friends may live in other cities, so it is not easy to see them often. Still, sending emails to friends would be a more beneficial option because emails are less time-consuming. Thus social networking websites are not helpful in most cases. In the final analysis, despite the fact that socializing online is a popular new trend, it does not help young people when it comes to communication, time management and mental health. For this reason, I am convinced that socializing online is a negative development in general.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reaching consensus on whether using the Internet to

socialize is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To my mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites have caused more problems than

merits. For one thing,
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
poses a real threat to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As a matter of fact,
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
happens on a daily basis on most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites such as Facebook and Twitter, which has led to the increasing suicide rate
Do not mix variants of the same word ('among' and 'amongst') within a single text.
among
youngsters.

For another,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fewer chances to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
their

interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
especially
face-to-face communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Undeniably
, nowadays more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer texting each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
on Facebook as opposed to speaking to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in person.
Besides
, too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites, which wastes their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that should
be spent
studying. More
precisely
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
chatting with others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
rather
than do their homework at home.

To be sure,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites
also
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the convenience of contacting friends that are far away.
This is reasonable to the extent that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
Still
, sending emails to friends would be a more beneficial option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
emails are less time-consuming.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites are not helpful
in most cases
.

In the final analysis, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is a popular new trend, it

does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to communication,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and mental health.
For this reason
, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
in general
.
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IELTS essay Argument: More and more young people use the Internet to socialise. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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