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Are cell phones dangerous?

Are cell phones dangerous? PPJ2
As humanity evolved for eons, civilization had been replaced by the other. From the Stone Age to the Modern Age, innovation had been pioneered by humans and out of curiosity made people to go into deeper discoveries and man have made stunning founds around the world. Yet, this sophisticated, intricate device has been in the hands of many. Firstly, it really is not something that we should be concern if we are extremely strict on our device usage. It only becomes a problem if we center our lives around this modern device.
As humanity evolved for eons, civilization had
been replaced
by the other. From the Stone Age to the Modern Age, innovation had
been pioneered
by humans and out of curiosity made
people
to go into deeper discoveries and
man
have made stunning founds around the world.
Yet
, this sophisticated, intricate device has been in the hands of
many
.
Firstly
, it
really
is not something that we should be concern if we are
extremely
strict on our device usage. It
only
becomes a problem if we center our
lives
around this modern device.
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IELTS essay Are cell phones dangerous?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
92 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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