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"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

" In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books. " E39jL
In our modernized era, televisions have invaded our life and become the most popular tools for entertainment and education. In fact, watching TV has been preferable to reading books by most people in the present time. In the past, learning or amusement by reading books was one of the most effective and widespread methods. Even for children, telling bedtime stories by one of their parents was a habit that could not be skipped. Moreover, reading played a major role in widening the gates for the passionate pioneers to explore the unknown and create new inventions that were milestones in the industrial and technological revolutions. Nowadays, television is a powerful medium of mass communication, as television offers a variety of intriguing, entertaining and attention- stealing TVS genres such as movies, talk shows, documentaries. . etc. Basically, anyone can choose his favourite TV genre by pushing the button on the remote control and watch it for hours. More and more people are considering TV programmes a source of enjoyment and education. Therefore, reading books has become a habit that is done by minority of people. In my opinion, watching TV can not be as beneficial as reading books. It is clear that, the TV business is seeking financial success on favour of morality. An obvious illustration of that is the ethical decline of the content of some films or advertiments. However, news and documentaries may give valuable information that keep us updated with the current events and the latest discoveries in many fields. On the flip side, reading will always be the most effective and efficient way for education and enlightenment. In a nutshell, regardless of the harmful effects of watching some of the TV messages on people’s minds, most of them would much rather watch TVS than read books. Moreover, less and less people are using TV as a good learning tool, instead, TV is the number one time killer in the world.
In our modernized era, televisions have invaded our life and become the most popular tools for entertainment and education. In fact, watching TV has been preferable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
by most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the present time.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the past, learning or amusement by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
was one of the most effective and widespread methods. Even for children, telling bedtime stories by one of their parents was a habit that could not
be skipped
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
played a major role in widening the gates for the passionate pioneers to explore the unknown and create new inventions that were milestones in the industrial and technological revolutions.

Nowadays, television is a powerful medium of mass communication, as television offers a variety of intriguing, entertaining and attention- stealing TVS genres such as movies, talk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, documentaries.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
etc
.
Basically
, anyone can choose his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
TV genre by pushing the button on the remote control and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it for hours. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are considering TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
a source of enjoyment and education.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
has become a habit that
is done
by minority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In my opinion, watching TV can not be as beneficial as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the TV business is seeking financial success on
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of morality. An obvious illustration of
that is
the ethical decline of the content of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
films or
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertiments
.
However
, news and documentaries may give valuable information that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us updated with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and the latest discoveries in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields. On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
will always be the most effective and efficient way for education and enlightenment.

In a nutshell, regardless of the harmful effects of watching
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
TV messages on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
minds, most of them would much
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TVS than read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Moreover
, less and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using TV as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
learning tool,
instead
, TV is the number one time killer in the world.
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IELTS essay " In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books. "

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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