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An increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise. Some people think this has brought people closer together while others think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

An increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise. Some people think this has brought people closer together while others think people are becoming more isolated. Ajg8w
Nowadays this world become a global village, people are using social media for meeting people and socialise. Some people say that this leads them closer to each other, whereas other think people becoming more introword, in following paragraphs I shall discuss both the perspective and will reach to an appropriate conclusion. To begin with, about first view, it is fact that, today's fast pace of life people rely on social media, to satisfy themselves, and internet playing vital rale in it, where people not only getting relationship but also making themseves social. It has been proved that in modern world people like to do closer, whom they donot know, which some time put them in danger. About socialise, people like to show off as well as they wants attention, as a result they so such things on internet to make themselves socialise. On the other hand, about second view, people becoming more and more isolated, because they spend their most of the time on internet, which make them isolated. For instance, study of human resource say's people are got addiction of social media. Which leads them to be introwords moreover, eventhey like to spend time on isolated place, where they can spend their time In conclusion, usage of internet satisfying people's feeling whereas some people making themselves isolate according to my perspective, it is fact that people closer and socialise through the internet as well as from social media
Nowadays this world become a global village,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that this leads them closer to each other, whereas other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
becoming more
Possible spelling mistake found.
introword
, in following paragraphs I shall discuss both the perspective and will reach to an appropriate conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, about
first
view, it is fact that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, to satisfy themselves, and internet playing vital rale in it, where
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people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting relationship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
making
Possible spelling mistake found.
themseves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
. It has
been proved
that in modern world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to do closer, whom they
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
know
If " which" starts an indirect question, you do not need to put a comma before it.
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "times"?
time
put them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. About
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
,
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people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off
as well
as they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "want"
wants
attention,
as a result
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
such things on internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
.

On the other hand
, about second view,
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people
becoming more and more isolated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend their most of the time on internet, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them isolated.
For instance
, study of human resource say's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
addiction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Which leads them to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
introwords
moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhey
like to spend time on isolated place, where they can spend their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
time


In conclusion
, usage of internet satisfying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's feeling whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
making themselves isolate according to my perspective, it is fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
through the internet
as well
as from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
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IELTS essay An increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise. Some people think this has brought people closer together while others think people are becoming more isolated.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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