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An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia—the scent of lavender flowers—has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where the

An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia—the scent of lavender flowers—has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where the 0AaYB
The author concludes here that the scent of lavender flower cures insomnia within a short period of time. stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. In support of this conclusion, the author reasons that the team of thirty volunteers had slept on lavender-scented pillows in the night for three weeks in a row and thus their insomnia had been cured. however, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the author's conclusion. first of all, the argument readily assumes that the insomnia of the volunteers has cured because they slept on the lavender-scented pillows. this is merely an assumption made without much solid ground. For example, what if the medication that they took earlier in those weeks has cured the insomnia or the room was more sleep inducing. Hence the argument would have been much more convincing if it explicitly stated that []. The argument also readily claims that during the first week the volunteers slept soundly but wakened feeling tired because they are on medication. this again is a weak and unsupportive claim since it does not demonstrate that the scent of the lavender flowers caused this. To illustrate further []. Finally, the author points out that during the second week they did not sleep well and was very tired because they stopped taking the medication. but it does not provide any information that whether or not the lavender flower caused this issue. however, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the author's conclusion in several critical aspects and raises skeptical questions. For example, why they been so tired and slept less in the second week despite of sleeping on the lavender flower pillow? why they slept soundly in the first week even being on the medication? why the author put the volunteers in medication in first place? without convincing answers to these questions the reader is left in the impression that the claim made by the author are more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. In conclusion, the author's argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it the author must provide much more concrete evidence, perhaps by a detailed analysis of the medication and the scent of the lavender flower.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
concludes here that the scent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lavender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flower
cures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insomnia
within a short period of time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
stated
in this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could
be evaluated
. In support of this conclusion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
reasons that the team of thirty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slept
on lavender-scented pillows in the night for three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
in a row and
thus
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insomnia
had
been cured
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
credible support for the author's conclusion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
readily
assumes that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insomnia
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
has cured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slept
on the lavender-scented pillows.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
merely
an assumption made without much solid ground.
For example
, what if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medication
that they took earlier in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
has cured the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insomnia
or the room was more sleep inducing.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
would have been much more convincing if it
explicitly
stated that [].

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
also
readily
claims that during the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slept
soundly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
wakened feeling tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medication
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
again is a weak and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsupportive
claim since it does not demonstrate that the scent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lavender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flowers
caused this. To illustrate
further
[].

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
points out that during the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
they did not sleep well and was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medication
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
it does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
any information that
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lavender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flower
caused this issue.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
credible support for the author's conclusion in several critical aspects and raises skeptical questions.
For example
, why they
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "was", "were"?
been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tired and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slept
less in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
sleeping on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lavender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flower
pillow?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
why
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slept
soundly
in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
even being on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medication
?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
why
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medication
in
first
place?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
without
convincing answers to these questions the reader is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in the impression that the claim made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
are more of a wishful thinking
rather
than substantive evidence.

In conclusion
, the author's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
much more concrete evidence, perhaps by a detailed analysis of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medication
and the scent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lavender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flower
.
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IELTS essay An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia—the scent of lavender flowers—has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where the

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
390 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia—the scent of lavender flowers—has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where the