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Although modern life has brought with it improvement in people's standard of living, people's are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

In concurrent era, modern lifestyle has brought with it's enhancement in people's standard of living. It is therefore suggested that generally humans are not happy with their lives but i feel that the other way as technology increases we can do net-banking via phone and also nowadays we can exploit benefits from new-featured vehicles. Firstly, upgrading in people's standard of living will make their lifestyle easy. The development in technology, the development in everyone's life. For instance, mobile is very handy technology so it is easy to use anywhere at anytime and from phone we can gain many benefits in online shopping like it saves time and efforts and also there are good discounts. Additionally, net-banking in which we can transfer money from one account to another account within a minute and also bill payments have become easier. Moreover, developing new technologies will provides good facilities like nowadays we have many facilities and features in cars like airbags, antilock brackes, we can chargers our phone and also the trucks that automatically open, when our hands are full with groceries it detects your smart key in you pocket. Although, many may argue that technology should not good for health, however, i feel for that some other standard of living should be developed instead of putting health in danger merely for time. In conclusion, not only upgrading in standard of living, but that would also giving use many facilities and features to access, which will eventually give good future to society. Therefore, i fully disagree that people's are not happy with their lives.
In concurrent era, modern lifestyle has brought with
Did you mean “its” (possessive pronoun) instead of ‘it’s’ (short for ‘it is’)?
it's
enhancement in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. It is
therefore
suggested that
generally
humans are not happy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel that the other way as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
increases we can do net-banking via phone and
also
nowadays we can exploit benefits from new-featured vehicles.

Firstly
, upgrading in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their lifestyle easy. The development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the development in everyone's life.
For instance
, mobile is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
handy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
anywhere at anytime and from phone we can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits in online shopping like it saves time and efforts and
also
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
discounts.
Additionally
, net-banking in which we can transfer money from one account to another account within a minute and
also
bill payments have become easier.

Moreover
, developing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
will provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
facilities like nowadays we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities and features in cars like airbags,
Possible spelling mistake found.
antilock
Possible spelling mistake found.
brackes
, we
The word ‘chargers’ is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can chargers
our phone and
also
the trucks that
automatically
open, when our hands are
The usual collocation for “full” is “of”, not “with”. Did you mean “full of”?
full with
groceries it detects your smart key in you pocket. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for health,
however
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel for that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
should
be developed
instead
of putting health in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
merely
for time.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
upgrading in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that would
also
The modal verb ‘would’ requires the verb’s base form.
giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities and features to access, which will
eventually
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
future to society.
Therefore
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
fully
disagree that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's are not happy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Although modern life has brought with it improvement in people's standard of living, people's are not generally happy with their lives.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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