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After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. XLqO
Most people believe that the wage is the main factor in making a decision for a career. They will pursue high-paying jobs even if they don’t enjoy it. Beside, follow their heart and choose a career they love. While I agree that money is a critical factor when deciding on a career, I believe that passion is equally important. Firstly, I think that job satisfaction will make people working with efficiency and productivity. An average human being spends a great deal of his or her time in the workplace. If you love your job, you don’t need another reason to get up early in the morning and leave for work. People who enjoy their job look forward to going to their workplace every morning. Moreover, you may not earn a huge pay packet in the beginning, but your passion for your profession will ultimately take you places. However, if you are in a career that you detest, you are unlikely to have the motivation to go to work. This lack of enthusiasm will ultimately limit your chances of professional growth. Worse still, if you don’t like your job, it could stress you out and lead to many health problems. On the other hand, considerations in the earning with a career also have some positive sides. To begin with, money is not everything but our quality of life depends on it. With a huge amount of money, we are able to purchase a bigger house, a luxury car, and other things that make our live convenience. Another reason to take wages into consideration is the more salary will push us to work harder that it opens an opportunity to get into higher positions. Moreover, a high salary represents a successful in our live. Most of the people who get higher payment on their career are the one who has got an outstanding education, high level of technical skills, or participated in many activities that benefit to the social. In conclusion, I don’t believe that earning is the main features to take into consideration while choosing a career, love of work should be the first factor to consider while selecting an occupation, without it, we will not happy with our roles and we can’t grow up with our career path.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the wage is the main factor in making a decision for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. They will pursue high-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
even if they don’t enjoy it. Beside, follow their heart and choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that money is a critical factor when deciding on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, I believe that passion is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working with efficiency and productivity. An average human being spends a great deal of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
time in the workplace. If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, you don’t need another reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up early in the morning and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
look forward to going to their workplace every morning.
Moreover
, you may not earn a huge pay packet in the beginning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your passion for your profession will
ultimately
take you places.
However
, if you are in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that you detest, you are unlikely to have the motivation to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This lack of enthusiasm will
ultimately
limit your chances of professional growth. Worse
still
, if you don’t like your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
you out and lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems.

On the other hand
, considerations in the earning with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, money is not everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
our quality of life depends on it. With a huge amount of money, we are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a bigger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, a luxury car, and other things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
convenience. Another reason to take wages into consideration is the more salary will push us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder that it opens an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into higher positions.
Moreover
, a high salary represents a successful in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher payment on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
are the one who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an outstanding education, high level of technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, or participated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities that benefit to the social.

In conclusion
, I don’t believe that earning is the main features to take into consideration while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should be the
first
factor to consider while selecting an occupation, without it, we
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will not happy
with our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
roles and
we can’t grow up with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path.
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IELTS essay After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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