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After graduating from high school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they enjoy, rather than one that gives them the best salary. How much do you agree with this statement?

After graduating school young people make an important decision and a very serious step for their lives about choosing a job. Working only for the sake of money is not entirely correct. This essay agrees that it is important for students to follow a profession of interest. It is clear that, people can be successful if they can work in favorite profession. It will give strong motivation and help overcome many of the difficulties that are the main factors of success. Men will work hard, develop and hone their skills, which will be effective for self-development. Prime example, a plethora of smart businessmen like founder of AliBaba Jack Ma, started working for, it was important for him to gain experience. However, some insist that it is better to choose a well-paid job. Moreover, they believe that money plays an important role in a person's success. Despite this, it should be noted over time people, who agreed to work for a low salary can become the best in this job area. For instance, professionals without education who started from 0 and achieved great success.
After
The verb ‘to graduate’ requires the preposition ‘from’: “graduating from”.
graduating
school young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
decision and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious step for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
about choosing a job. Working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the sake of money is not
entirely
correct. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for students to follow a profession of interest.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be successful if they can work in favorite profession. It will give strong motivation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the difficulties that are the main factors of success.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
will work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, develop and hone their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which will be effective for self-development. Prime example, a plethora of smart businessmen like founder of
Possible spelling mistake found.
AliBaba
Jack Ma,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working for, it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for him to gain experience.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
insist that it is better to choose a well-paid job.
Moreover
, they believe that money plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in a person's success. Despite this, it should
be noted
over time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to work for a low salary can become the best in this job area.
For instance
, professionals without education who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 0 and achieved great success.
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IELTS essay After graduating from high school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they enjoy, rather than one that gives them the best salary. How much

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
183 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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