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According to some people, every activity that children pursue in their leisure time should have some educational value.

According to some people, every activity that children pursue in their leisure time should have some educational value. LraLn
According to some people, every activity that children pursue in their leisure time should have some educational value. They believe that activities that do not teach anything are useless. I fully disagree with this view. This essay discusses how recreational activities helps in shaping a child’s personality and then how activities like sports helps in their overall development. Improving a child’s personality is very crucial because they must learn to mingle with people and interact with the society. Activities like going to cinema or hanging out with their close friends would greatly favour this outcome. In addition, the child learns to becomes independent whenever he/she faces a difficult situation in life. To illustrate this, a study conducted by Oxford University showed that 50% of children who spent more time in leisure activities become much better in problem solving capabilities and face-to-face interactions. Secondly, a genuine recreation like sports can boost overall fitness and also helps relieve stress. For instance, a survey conducted in Delhi showed that kids who spent less time dedicated to sports has a higher possibility of depression, anxiety and attention-related issues. Sports are also capable of reducing the risk of many diseases and boosting the immune system because it enhances your physical fitness. On top of this, a number of child psychologists recommend spending time in authentic free time activities because it was shown to develop the child’s interest in studies. In conclusion, it seems clear that leisure activities are very significant to a child as it helps in their overall personality and teaches them to not be dependent on others and overcome any hard situations in life. On top of that, activities like sports are shown to improve not only the child’s physical well being but also their psychological well being too. In my opinion, recreational activities are very valuable and not at a waste of time as some of the general publics are led to believe.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that children pursue in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational value. They believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that do not teach anything are useless. I
fully
disagree with this view. This essay discusses how recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in shaping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
personality and then how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in their
overall
development.

Improving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
personality is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn to mingle with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and interact with the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Activities
like going to cinema or hanging out with their close friends would
greatly
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
this outcome.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
learns to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "become".
becomes
independent whenever he/she faces a difficult situation in life. To illustrate this, a study conducted by Oxford University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 50% of children who spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
become much better in problem solving capabilities and face-to-face interactions.

Secondly
, a genuine recreation like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can boost
overall
fitness and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For instance
, a survey conducted in Delhi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that kids who spent less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
dedicated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has a higher possibility of depression, anxiety and attention-related issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
are
also
capable of reducing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases and boosting the immune system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it enhances your physical fitness. On top of this, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
psychologists recommend spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in authentic free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
was shown
to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
interest in studies.

In conclusion
, it seems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in their
overall
personality and teaches them to not be dependent on others and overcome any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
situations in life.
On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are shown
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
physical
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their psychological
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
too. In my opinion, recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable and not at a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
general
Possible spelling mistake found.
publics
are led
to believe.
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IELTS essay According to some people, every activity that children pursue in their leisure time should have some educational value.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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