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a short introduction about your best friend

a short introduction about your best friend p19XL
I have get depression when I at the age of 15. In that time I also alone, do not have any friends or some good relationship to share and talk about my life. But one day, a girl come into my life. She is a good girl with a long hair, her black eyes make me feel attracted. She is the same as me, do not depression but she is an introverts people. We first meet is in a presentation at school, she talks regarding animals, the mavel and everything which I like most. After that I can talks with her although I have melanccholy before. She develops into the light of my life. She frequently helps me grows into a confident people, teaches me turn into a sociable and become my first friend. A friend with almost people in the worlf maybe a small thing. However, with my sickness, It can save my life, make me feel happier and do anything I have never tried before. Maybe everyone thinks she consequently normal, do not have any highlight things or her persionality is eccentric but I adore her, hooked on anythings about her. Her steps is the way that I want to follow. She become my factorize, assist me not to give up when I feel tired for fighting illness. Furthemore she have a plethora of good marks. She appriciates regarding to make bakery, plays piano or guitar, makes crafts and she has a delightful sing. Although she can not be perfect, she also abundance to turn into my best friend and do anythings with me. In my heart she always have a special place
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depression when I at the age of 15. In that time I
also
alone, do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship to share and talk about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
one day, a girl
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. She is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
girl with a long hair, her black eyes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
me feel attracted. She is the same as me, do not depression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she is an introverts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. We
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
is in a presentation at school, she talks regarding animals, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
mavel
and everything which I like most. After that I can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "talk"
talks
with her although I have
Possible spelling mistake found.
melanccholy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. She develops into the light of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. She
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me grows into a confident
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, teaches me turn into a sociable and become my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
with almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
worlf
maybe a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
thing.
However
, with my sickness, It can save my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
me feel happier and do anything I have never tried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Maybe everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
she
consequently
normal, do not have any highlight things or her
Possible spelling mistake found.
persionality
is eccentric
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I adore her, hooked on anythings about her. Her steps
You should probably use: "are".
is
the way that I want to follow. She become my factorize, assist me not to give up when I feel tired for fighting illness.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthemore
she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks. She
Possible spelling mistake found.
appriciates
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
bakery, plays piano or guitar,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
crafts and
she has a delightful sing.

Although she can not be perfect, she
also
abundance to turn into my best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and do anythings with me. In my heart she always
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
a special
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
place
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IELTS essay a short introduction about your best friend

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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