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A/D: An effective leader will make others feel like they are a part of making decisions.

A/D: An effective leader will make others feel like they are a part of making decisions. qVD55
Many leaders are not able to work effectively. That happens because some of them are unable or do not want to listen who is under his or her orders. I totally agree that an effective leader should make others fell like they are a part of making decisions. I fell that way for two reasons. First, this produces a friendly environment. Second, this stimulates good ideas. To begin with, a friendly environment is produced if the entire group is part of making a decision. There are many authority figures that produce a hostile environment since they are convinced that an afraid individual do any activity better. However, such method only produces a stressful and discouraging environment. The only thing that this type of leader creates is a lot of scared robots instead of a creative team. For instance, I was invited to work in a hospital as a physical therapist few years ago. That opportunity made me so excited because it was my first job after I finished the university. As many new grades, I had the expectative of practice everything that learned at my school. Unfortunately, in the first day of working, I noticed that my boss was a terrible leader. He screamed and humiliated the therapy team members all the time. That attitude certainly was demotivating, and nobody had the courage to give a single opinion or expand their potential. Nobody smiled! Even the patients noticed that something was wrong in that place. My luck was that about three months after working in that hell, I received another job offer, which was in a clinic where everybody's voice counted. This surely dreams first job! Moreover, good ideas are stimulated. A lot of people that fell that is part of making decisions may work harder. I mean, who is part of something important will study, make research, and think harder. Therefore, whatever a certain team is doing, the results will be better if every member gets committed with it. For example, when I was a teenager, I volunteered to help with the decoration of a community party in my home city Belo Horizonte, Brazil. I was chosen as the leader. On our first meeting, I noticed that the eight participants of the team were totally demotivated. Then, I said that everyone should go back to home and research about party decoration on books and on internet. In the following meeting, we discussed what to choose as decoration between all the super creative ideas that each one bought. As a result, the part looked amazing and we received compliments of the guests. This is an awesome example of how not only the leader but the entire team making a decision is effective. Essentially, I agree that it is a good idea that leaders permit the others member of a team participate of making decisions. This will produce a friendly environment full of creative people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
are not able to work
effectively
. That happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are unable or do not want to listen who is under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
orders. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
others fell like they are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. I fell that way for two reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
First
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produces
a friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Second, this stimulates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is produced
if the entire group is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
authority figures that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
a hostile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
since they
are convinced
that an afraid individual do any activity better.
However
, such method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produces
a stressful and discouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
creates is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
scared robots
instead
of a creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
For instance
, I
was invited
to work in a hospital as a physical therapist few years ago. That opportunity made me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
job after I finished the university. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new grades, I had
The phrase 'the expectative of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the expectative of
practice everything that learned at my school. Unfortunately, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
day of working, I noticed that my boss was a terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. He screamed and humiliated the therapy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members all the time. That attitude
certainly
was demotivating, and nobody had the courage to give a single opinion or expand their potential. Nobody smiled! Even the patients noticed that something was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in that place. My luck was that about three months after working in that hell, I received another job offer, which was in a clinic where everybody's voice counted. This
surely
dreams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
job!

Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are stimulated
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that fell
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
may work harder. I mean, who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
will study,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
research, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
harder.
Therefore
, whatever a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is doing, the results will be better if every member
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
committed with it.
For example
, when I was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, I volunteered to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the decoration of a community party in my home city Belo Horizonte, Brazil. I
was chosen
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. On our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
meeting, I noticed that the eight participants of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
were
totally
demotivated. Then, I said that everyone should go back to home and research about party decoration on books and on internet. In the following meeting, we discussed what to choose as decoration between all the super creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that each one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
looked
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
amazing and
we received compliments of the guests. This is an awesome example of how not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is effective.

Essentially
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
permit the others member of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
participate of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
a friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
full of creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay A/D: An effective leader will make others feel like they are a part of making decisions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
484 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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