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1. There is too much stress in the workplace. What can employees and employers do about it?

In this 21st century stress is a big problem in today’s workplace. But first of all, we need to understand what is leading to such issues there some several steps which can be taken to tackle this problem which I will examine in this further essay. Discussing the reasons, the most common one is excessive workload, with unrealistic deadlines which makes people feel pressurized. Similarly, insufficient work makes people feel that their skills are being under-valued (underused) and this may cause stress. Then there may be a lock of motivational or poor working relationship leading to a sense of isolation. Moreover, Stress caused by lack of job security, lack of opportunity or pay given by employers for their particular works. Employers can take a lot of steps to cope with workplace stress. To begin with, they should diagnose what is causing stress. If overwork is a reason of stress in the business, then they should try to reduce people’s workload. Employers should give proper knowledge and training for their work. Additionally, they are organized get together with employees and take some feedbacks such as workload, working patterns, and any required change in company/ offices which create a healthy relationship and also, share opinions with their teammates. The employees take several steps to reducing their stress. They should take frequent breaks and relax. Listening is music stress-buster activity so they can enjoy the music during the breaks and driving. At the day’s end, they should leave work behind and focus on plans for the evening. To sum up, stress at workplace is a major concern but employers and employees can take serious step to reduce it.
In this 21st century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s workplace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
first of all
, we need to understand what is leading to such issues there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
which can
be taken
to tackle this problem which I will examine in this
further
essay.

Discussing the reasons, the most common one
Please check whether an article is missing: “is a excessive” or “is an excessive”
is excessive
workload, with unrealistic deadlines which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel pressurized.
Similarly
, insufficient work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are being under-valued (underused) and this may cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. Then there may be a lock of motivational or poor working relationship leading to a sense of isolation.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
caused by lack of job security, lack of opportunity or pay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by employers for their particular works.

Employers can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
to cope with workplace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, they should diagnose what is causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. If overwork is a reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in the business, then they should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s workload. Employers should give proper knowledge and training for their work.
Additionally
, they
are organized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together with employees and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feedbacks such as workload, working patterns, and any required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
/ offices which create a healthy relationship and
also
, share opinions with their teammates.

The employees take several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
to reducing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. They should take frequent breaks and relax. Listening is music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-buster activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can enjoy the music during the breaks and driving. At the day’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
work behind and focus on plans for the evening.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
at workplace is a major concern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
employers and employees can take serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it.
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IELTS essay 1. There is too much stress in the workplace. What can employees and employers do about it?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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