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write a report to a university lecturer, describing the result of the survey of adult education

write a report to a university lecturer, describing the result of the survey of adult education jdr3a
Education has been known to be the best legacy no wonder the young generations have keyed into it and the older generations are diving more into it, there are several reasons why adults have decided to study which has been explained with the use of graph and also how people have thought the costs of adult education should be apportioned. According to the graph 9% study to meet people, 12% study to be able to change jobs, 20% enjoy learning another 20% to increase their chances of promotion, 22% the course of studying is beneficial to their current jobs, 28% to gain qualification and lastly 40% do so for interest in a particular subject. these is how people think the costs of adult education should be shared25% of the course cost should be paid by tax payers while employers pay 10% higher amounting to 35% for a course lastly individuals pay he highest amounting to 40%. everybody deserves an opportunity to be educated irrespective of the reason, evidently education plays a huge role in our society today.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
has
been known
to be the best legacy no wonder the young generations have keyed into it and the older generations are diving more into it, there are several reasons why adults have decided to study which has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of graph and
also
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
the costs of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be apportioned
. According to the graph 9% study to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, 12% study to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
jobs, 20% enjoy learning another 20% to increase their chances of promotion, 22% the course of studying is beneficial to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
jobs, 28% to gain qualification and
lastly
40% do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for interest in a particular subject.
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the costs of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be shared25% of the course cost should
be paid
by tax payers while employers pay 10% higher amounting to 35% for a course
lastly
individuals pay
It seems that a verb is missing after "he". Please verify.
he
highest amounting to 40%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
everybody
deserves an opportunity to
be educated
irrespective of the reason,
evidently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays a huge role in our society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
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IELTS academic write a report to a university lecturer, describing the result of the survey of adult education

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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