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value of fuel exports from 2000 to 2005

value of fuel exports from 2000 to 2005 Gb8g
The graph shows the value of fuel, food, manufactured goods and the total value of exports in one country from 2000 to 2005. As we can see the total value of exports grows up during last four years. In year 2000; 2001 and 2002 the total export was droping down, but after that situation gets better and the total export in year 2005 is nearly 450, 000 million dollars. We can see that the export of food is almost the same for all years, every year below 10, 000 millions dollars. The export of fuel in year 2000 was about 45. 000 million dollars but it was getting down and in year 2005 was only half this amount, what is mean 20. 000 millions dollars. Manufactured food in the year 2000 was a little below 20. 000 millions dollars and in the year 2005 a little above 20. 000 million dollars.
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the value of fuel, food, manufactured
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goods
and the
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total
value of
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exports
in one country from 2000 to 2005.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
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total
value of
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exports
grows up during last four years. In
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year
2000; 2001 and 2002 the
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
droping
down,
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but
after that situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
better and the
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total
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export
in
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year
2005 is
nearly
450, 000
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million
dollars.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
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export
of food is almost the same for all years, every
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year
below 10, 000
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millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. The
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export
of fuel in
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year
2000 was about 45. 000
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was getting down and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 was
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only
half this amount, what is mean 20. 000
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millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. Manufactured food in the
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year
2000 was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
below 20. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
and in the
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year
2005 a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
above 20. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
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IELTS academic value of fuel exports from 2000 to 2005

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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