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Units of electricity produced by Australia and France in year 1980 and 2000

Units of electricity produced by Australia and France in year 1980 and 2000 Or6bp
The pie chart illustrates the information about units of electricity produced by fuel source in countries like Australia and France in the years 1980 and 2000. Overall, total production of power has increased dramatically in both the countries as compare to 1980 in the year 2000. In 1980, Australia’s total production was 100 units were 50 % of its total production which is 50 units was produced by coal. While, Hydropower, Oil and Natural gas all combined contributed 50 units. Whereas in the year 2000, most units of power were extracted from Coal (130 units ) and least from oil and natural gas (2 units /per). Which combined gave 170 units of electricity from the fuel source of Australia. France in 1980, produced 90 units of electricity from fuel source where Coal, Natural gas produced the same amount of power (25 units) while, others like Oil, Nuclear power and Hydropower contributed by 20, 15 and 5 units respectively. Where in the year 2000, Nuclear power contributed 75 % of its combined units (126 units ). Whereas, Hydropower and Natural gas produced the least (2 units/per). Although combine of all fuel sources in France produced 180 units.
The pie chart illustrates the information about
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units
of electricity
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produced
by
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fuel
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source
in countries like Australia and France in the years 1980 and 2000.

Overall
, total production of
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power
has increased
dramatically
in both the countries as compare to 1980 in the
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year
2000.

In 1980, Australia’s total production was 100
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units
were 50 % of its total production which is 50
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units
was
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produced
by coal. While, Hydropower, Oil and
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Natural
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gas
all combined contributed 50
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units
. Whereas in the
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year
2000, most
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units
of
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power
were extracted
from Coal (130
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units
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)
and least from oil and
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natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
(2
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units
/per).
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
combined gave 170
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units
of electricity from the
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fuel
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source
of Australia.

France in 1980,
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produced
90
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units
of electricity from
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fuel
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source
where Coal,
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Natural
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gas
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produced
the same amount of
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power
(25
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units)
while, others like Oil, Nuclear
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power
and Hydropower contributed by 20, 15 and 5
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units
respectively
. Where in the
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year
2000, Nuclear
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power
contributed 75 % of its combined
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units
(126
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units
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. Whereas, Hydropower and
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Natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
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produced
the least (2 units/per).
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
combine of all
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fuel
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sources
in France
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produced
180
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
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IELTS academic Units of electricity produced by Australia and France in year 1980 and 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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