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Two pie charts show information about amount of energy use in Australian household

Two pie charts show information about amount of energy use in Australian household obggB
The first pie chart illustrates percentage of energy which is used in Australian household including six different categories, and the second pie chart shows the amount of the green house gas which is produced because of consuming this energy. Overall, what stands out from the pie charts is that the highest emount of energy is used in heating but water heating is the biggest source of green house gas emissions. The highest amount of energy which is used in Australian house is heating with 42 %.  The water heating comes in the second place at just under a third.  The third popular energy is refrigeration which it accounts for 7 percent.  The last popular energy among Australian is cooling which it is half of lightening at 2 and 4 percent respectively. Regarding the second pie chart water for heating with 32% produces the highest amount of green house gas which it is a bit more than other appliances which comes the second place at almost 30.  The amount of emission from heating is 15% which has approximately same amount as refrigeration at 14 that it is the half of the energy which is used.  Cooling and heating are the two last source of emissions at 3 and 8 % in turn.
The
first
 pie chart illustrates percentage of energy which is 
used
in Australian household including six
different
categories, and the second pie chart 
shows
the amount of the green
house
gas which
is produced
 
because
of consuming this energy.

Overall
, what stands out from the pie charts is that the highest 
emount
 of energy is
used
in heating 
but
water heating is the biggest source of green
house
gas emissions.

The highest amount of energy which is 
used
 in Australian
house
is heating with 42 %.  The water heating 
comes
 in the second place at 
just
 under a third.  
The
third popular energy is refrigeration which it accounts for 7 percent.  
The
 last popular energy among Australian is cooling which it is half of lightening at 2 and 4 percent
respectively
.

Regarding the second pie chart water for heating with 32% produces the highest amount of green
house
gas which it is a bit more than other appliances which 
comes
 the second place at almost 30.  The amount of emission from heating is 15% which has approximately same amount as refrigeration at 14 that it is the half of the energy which is
used
.  Cooling and heating are the two last source of emissions at 3 and 8 % in turn.
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IELTS academic Two pie charts show information about amount of energy use in Australian household

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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