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Pie chart one shows the energy used in Australian household the second pie chart shows emount of green house gas emissions summaries information and make comparisons

Pie chart one shows the energy used in Australian household the second pie chart shows emount of green house gas emissions Nw550
The first pie chart illustrates percentage of energy which is used in Australian household including six different categories, and the second pie chart shows the amount of the green house gas which is produced because of consuming this energy. Overall, what stands out from the pie charts is that the highest emount of energy is used in heating but water heating is the biggest source of green house gas emissions, and except heating other parts have more pollution than energy which is using. The highest amount of energy which is used in Australian house is heating with 42 %.  The water heating comes in the second place at just under a third.  The third popular energy is refrigeration which it accounts for 7 percent.  The last popular energy among Australian is cooling which it is half of lightening at 2 and 4 percent respectively. Regarding the second pie chart other appliances are not as harmful as water heating at 30 snd 32 % respectively. The amount of emission from heating is 15% which has approximately same amount as refrigeration at 14, which it is twice more than the energy which is used in Australian household.  Cooling and heating are the two last source of emissions that cooling is around one third of heating at 3 and 8 % in turn.
The
first
 pie chart illustrates percentage of energy which is 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Australian household including six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories, and the second pie chart 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the amount of the green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
gas which
is produced
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of consuming this energy.

Overall
, what stands out from the pie charts is that the highest 
Possible spelling mistake found.
emount
 of energy is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in heating 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
water heating is the biggest source of green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
gas emissions, and except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
other parts have more pollution than energy which is using.

The highest amount of energy which is 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
 in Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is heating with 42 %.  The water heating 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
 in the second place at 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
 under a third.  
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
third popular energy is refrigeration which it accounts for 7 percent.  
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
 last popular energy among Australian is cooling which it is half of lightening at 2 and 4 percent
respectively
.

Regarding the second pie chart other appliances are not as harmful as water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
at 30
Possible spelling mistake found.
snd
32 %
respectively
. The amount of emission from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is 15% which has approximately same amount as refrigeration at 14, which it is twice more than the energy which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Australian household.  Cooling and heating are the two last source of emissions that cooling is around one third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
at 3 and 8 % in turn.
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IELTS academic Pie chart one shows the energy used in Australian household the second pie chart shows emount of green house gas emissions

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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