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Two pie charts-average middle income families spent their household bodget in years 2012 and 2015

Two pie charts-average middle income families spent their household bodget in years 2012 and 2015 GJQgg
The two charts provide the information of the different ways in which average middle-income families spent their household budget in two years, 2012 and 2015. In 2012, the expenditure was evenly distributed. Though families spent 35% of their income on housing, there was not much difference in others. Food/clothes and vacations/leisure were given equal weightage of about 25% of the budget to each. The remaining miscellaneous items were allocated the least, 15%. With a leap of three years, the statistics changed drastically. Housing tops the list in spending income with a whopping 50%. Families spent 25% more on food/clothes on vacation/leisure. A little amount was spent on miscellaneous. Overall, families preferred to spend on Housing in both the years. Families varied in expenditure over two different years.
The two charts provide the information of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways in which average middle-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
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spent
their household budget in two years, 2012 and 2015.

In 2012, the expenditure was
evenly
distributed. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
35% of their income on housing, there was not much difference in others. Food/clothes and vacations/leisure were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal weightage of about 25% of the budget to each. The remaining miscellaneous items
were allocated
the least, 15%.

With a leap of three years, the statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
. Housing tops the list in spending income with a whopping 50%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
25% more on food/clothes on vacation/leisure. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on miscellaneous.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
preferred to spend on Housing in both the years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
varied in expenditure over two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years.
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IELTS academic Two pie charts-average middle income families spent their household bodget in years 2012 and 2015

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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