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Outcome of a survery on people’ habits in drinking and buying coffee and tea

Outcome of a survery on people’ habits in drinking and buying coffee and tea 7L1V5
The bar chart shows the key data on the survey’s outcome of people’ habits in drinking and buying coffee and tea in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart. Overall, Australians often go to the café for coffee and tea apart from Adelaide inhabitants prefer using instant coffee than fresh one. Sydney reached the highest point in the amount of citizens had bought fresh coffee for 4 weeks in nearly 45%. Instead, in Brisbane and Adelaide were considerably lower than the figure of Sydney by 10%. The proportion of coffee and tea were used in the café in Melbourne was experienced the highest data about 65%. On the other hand, Hobart citizens seemly often use instant coffee. In addition, Melbourne and Adelaide have the same the percentage of using instant coffee for daily basis. ( 46% and 50%, respectively). The proprtion of how often people went to the café in Sydney was minimally higher than the figure of Brisbane by 5%.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the key data on the survey’s outcome of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’ habits in drinking and buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart.

Overall
, Australians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to the café for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea apart from Adelaide inhabitants prefer using instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
than fresh one.

Sydney reached the highest point in the amount of citizens had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
for 4 weeks in
nearly
45%.
Instead
, in Brisbane and Adelaide were
considerably
lower than the figure of Sydney by 10%. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the café in Melbourne
was experienced
the highest data about 65%.
On the other hand
, Hobart citizens
seemly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
instant coffee.

In addition
, Melbourne and Adelaide have the same the percentage of using instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
for daily basis.
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
46% and 50%,
respectively
). The
Possible spelling mistake found.
proprtion
of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
went to the café in Sydney was
minimally
higher than the figure of Brisbane by 5%.
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IELTS academic Outcome of a survery on people’ habits in drinking and buying coffee and tea

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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