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This graph shows the prediction of India and China population from the year of 2000 to 2050. At the bot

This graph shows the prediction of India and China population from the year of 2000 to 2050. At the bot 0nLn3
This graph shows the prediction of India and China population from the year of 2000 to 2050. At the bottom it represents the year and at the right it represents number of the population by billion. As you can see from this graph, India population had been rising steady, while China population decrease at last. The prediction said that in the year of 2030 both of the country would have the same amount of population at about 1. 45 billion people. Then China population would slowly decreases and Indian population would keep growing but with the slower rate. Finally in the year of 2050, the graph shows that Indian population would be at 1. 6 billion people and China population would be 1. 4 billion people with 0. 2 billion different. In the beginning of 2000 China has more population at 1. 25 billion and Indian only at 1 billion but now India has more population than China.
This graph
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shows
the prediction of India and China
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population
from the
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year
of 2000 to 2050. At the bottom it represents the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and at the right it represents number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
by
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billion
. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from this graph, India
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population
had been rising steady, while China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
decrease at last. The prediction said that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 2030 both of the country would have the same amount of
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population
at about 1. 45
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billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Then China
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population
would
slowly
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "decrease"
decreases
and Indian
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population
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
growing
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but
with the slower rate.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
in the
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year
of 2050, the graph
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shows
that Indian
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population
would be at 1. 6
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billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and China
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population
would be 1. 4
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billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with 0. 2
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billion
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different
. In the beginning of 2000 China has more
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population
at 1. 25
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billion
and Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
India has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
than China.

IELTS academic This graph shows the prediction of India and China population from the year of 2000 to 2050. At the bot

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
158 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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