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The pie charts below show the greenhouse emission for the last year by the sector for Australia and New Zealand

The pie charts below show the greenhouse emission for the last year by the sector for Australia and New Zealand 0p705
The given pie chart illustrate the information about the emission of greenhouse gases by the sector in Australia and New Zealand in the last year. Overall, it can be seen clearly that the most of greenhouse gases mission took place by agriculture methane and transport and less was produced by waste in both countries in the given time. Going into further details, in Australia the large proportion of greenhouse emission was caused by agricultural methane and transport which was nearly a quarter the percentage of polluted gases was caused by agricultural nitrous oxide was 11% and the ratio of gases by electricity generation was nearly a fifth. A small amount of carbonic acid gas was ejected by waste material, other energy resources and industrial process and solvent whose figures were 4% 7% and 5% respectively. Another charts show the proportion of greenhouse gas emission in New Zealand. The large share of greenhouse gases was produced by the agricultural methane which was 32%. The figure for the percentage of gas emission by industrial processes and solvent and waste was almost same as in Australia by some sectors which were 6%, 2%. The proportion of carbon gases which are caused by the electricity generation was 10% while the ratio of greenhouse gases was released by other energy sources, transport and agricultural nitrous oxide was between 15% to 20%
The
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given
pie chart illustrate the information about the
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emission
of
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greenhouse
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gases
by the sector in Australia and New Zealand in the
‘last year’ indicates a finished event of the past. Please check the predicate's tense.
last year
.
Overall
, it can be
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seen
clearly
that the most of
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greenhouse
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gases
mission took place by agriculture methane and transport and less
was produced
by waste in both countries in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time. Going into
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in Australia the large proportion of
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greenhouse
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emission
was caused
by
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agricultural
methane and transport which was
nearly
a quarter the percentage of polluted
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gases
was caused
by
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agricultural
nitrous oxide was 11% and the ratio of
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gases
by electricity generation was
nearly
a fifth. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of carbonic acid gas
was ejected
by waste material, other energy resources and industrial process and solvent whose figures were 4% 7% and 5%
respectively
. Another charts
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show
the proportion of
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greenhouse
gas
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emission
in New Zealand. The large share of
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greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
was produced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
methane which was 32%. The figure for the percentage of gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
by industrial processes and solvent and waste was almost same as in Australia by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sectors which were 6%, 2%.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
proportion of carbon
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gases
which
are caused
by the electricity generation was 10% while the ratio of
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greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
was released
by other energy sources, transport and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
nitrous oxide was between 15% to 20%
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the greenhouse emission for the last year by the sector for Australia and New Zealand

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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