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This diagram shows of life cycle of silkworm

This diagram shows of life cycle of silkworm 9ar5n
The diagram of shows the life cycle of silkworm, which begin as an egg and ends as a moth. In conclusion, one silkworms life cycle begins when it is laid as an egg by a adult silkworm. After some time it becomes a cocoon, and emerges as an adult silkworm able to lay eggs and continue the cycle of life. Firstly, silkworm lays eggs during its adulthood. The eggs hatch into silkworm larva, which emerg from the egg to feed on mulberry leaf, it is ready for the next phase of its life. silk thread is come in small silkworm as well as larva by over the 4 to 6 weeks, whereas after 3 to 8 days they renovated into cocoon on the contrary after 16 days it become adult moth, which is also called a silkworm. Simultaneously, the adult moth is ready to reproduce, lay eggs and begin the cycle once again.
The diagram of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
of silkworm, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
as an egg and ends as a moth.
In conclusion
, one silkworms life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
when it
is laid
as an egg by
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
adult silkworm. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time it becomes a cocoon, and emerges as an adult silkworm able to lay eggs and continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
of life.

Firstly
, silkworm lays eggs during its adulthood. The eggs hatch into silkworm larva, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
emerg
from the egg to feed on mulberry leaf, it is ready for the
next
phase of its life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
silk
thread is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
silkworm
as well
as larva by over the 4 to 6 weeks, whereas after 3 to 8 days they renovated into cocoon
on the contrary
after 16 days it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
adult moth, which is
also
called a silkworm.
Simultaneously
, the adult moth is ready to reproduce, lay eggs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
once again.
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IELTS academic This diagram shows of life cycle of silkworm

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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