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This diagram show the carbonated drinks production process.

This diagram show the carbonated drinks production process. BVa5
This diagram show the carbonated drinks production process. It is clear from the diagram that there are five main stages strat from cleaning water and ending by packaging to deliver. According to what is show, there are additional materials are used to produce the carbonated drinks. The process start from filtering water then add softener and some special chemicals to mixed then pump it to the cooling pipe after the liquid pass throw heater. In other hand, the thies stage using a huge mixing tank to mix carbonated water with otherthings such as syrup, flavour, and colouring all these row materials are extra which is not essential as first stage. After that, the drink is ready to be filling in a bottles or cans. Finally, the package is ready to deliver and supply different market. Tu sum up, we could say that first and second stages are the most important part of the process. However, the remain of stages are for adding flavour and shipment.
This diagram
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "shows".
show
the carbonated drinks production process. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the diagram that there are five main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
Possible spelling mistake found.
strat
from cleaning water and ending by packaging to deliver.

According to what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, there are additional materials are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce the carbonated drinks. The process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from filtering water then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
softener and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special chemicals to mixed then pump it to the cooling pipe after the liquid pass throw heater.

In other hand, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
thies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
using a huge mixing tank to mix carbonated water with
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherthings
such as syrup,
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
colouring
all these row materials are extra which is not essential as
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
. After that, the drink is ready to be filling in
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a bottle" or simply "bottles"?
a bottles
or cans.
Finally
, the package is ready to deliver and supply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
market.

The genitive is possibly missing.
Tu sum
up, we could say that
first
and second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the process.
However
,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'remain' is correct. If 'remain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the remain
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
are for adding
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
and shipment.

IELTS academic This diagram show the carbonated drinks production process.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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