Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The diagram shows how apple is canned.

The diagram shows how apple is canned. oj8B
The diagram provided reveals some data concerning how the fruit namely apple is packaged. Overall, there are 14 processes during the canning of apple, beginning with picking by hand, and culminating with dispatching. As can be seen from the picture, first of all, the apples are picked by hand, and then they are delivered to the fabrics via the vehicles for washing. After the process of quality, they are brought and are frozen over in cold stories. Meanwhile, before the peeling the apples, they are measured by scales, and then they are sliced. However, the apples are sealed well before the canning, then, they will be ready for cooking or sterilizing. Next, they are labelled and set to the storage. At final process, the goods are despatched, and they will be ready.
The diagram provided reveals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data concerning how the fruit
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
is packaged
.

Overall
, there are 14 processes during the canning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
, beginning with picking by hand, and culminating with dispatching.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the picture,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
are picked
by hand, and then they
are delivered
to the fabrics via the vehicles for washing. After the process of quality, they
are brought
and
are frozen
over in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
stories. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the peeling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
, they
are measured
by scales, and then they
are sliced
.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
are sealed
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the canning, then, they will be ready for cooking or sterilizing.
Next
, they
are labelled
and set to the storage. At final process, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are
Do not mix variants of the same word ('despatch' and 'dispatch') within a single text.
despatched
, and they will be ready.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The diagram shows how apple is canned.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts