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THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF THEIR DAILY INTAKE OF VARIOUS NUTRIENTS THA AVERAGE PERSON IN USA CONSUMES IN EACH MEAL AND IN SNACKS. THESE NUTRIENTS MAY BE UNHEALTHY IF EATEN TOO MUCH.SUMMARISE THE INFORMATION BY SELECTING AND REPORTING THE MAIN FEATURES, AND MAKE COMPARISIONS WHERE RELEVANT.

THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF THEIR DAILY INTAKE OF VARIOUS NUTRIENTS THA AVERAGE PERSON IN USA CONSUMES IN EACH MEAL AND IN SNACKS. THESE NUTRIENTS MAY BE UNHEALTHY IF EATEN TOO MUCH. k8bN
The pie chart provides information about the consumption of different nutrients (sodium, saturated fat, added sugar)in regular diet taken by average person in the USA. Overall, majority utilization of the sodium, saturated fat, and sugar is in the dinner compared to other meals. In contrast, breakfast consists of minimal amount of these nutrients. To begin with, in a typical meal the over intake of these minerals is not suggestable. Firstly, the breakfast contains 14%of sodium whereas saturated fat and added sugar were 16%. Secondly, the second meal of the day have 29%of sodium, 19% of added sugar, and saturated fat is just above a quarter. Turning to the snacks it can be seen that content of added sugar is more which is not ideal in any meal. comparatively sodium and saturated fat is only 14% and 21% respectively. However, added sugar is less than a quarter, in which sodium and saturated fats were 43% and 37%. In comparison with breakfast, the usage of added sugar should be reduced in snacks. The amount of sodium and saturated fat contents in dinner is not preferably good for healthy diet.
The pie chart provides information about the consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nutrients (sodium,
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saturated
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fat
,
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added
sugar)in regular diet taken by average person in the USA.
Overall
, majority utilization of the sodium,
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saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
, and
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sugar
is in the dinner compared to other
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meals
.
In contrast
, breakfast consists of minimal amount of these nutrients. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in a typical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
the over intake of these minerals is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
suggestable
.
Firstly
, the breakfast contains 14%of sodium whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
were 16%.
Secondly
, the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
of the day have 29%of sodium, 19% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above a quarter. Turning to the snacks it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that content of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is more which is not ideal in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
comparatively
sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14% and 21%
respectively
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is less than a quarter, in which sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
were 43% and 37%.
In comparison
with breakfast, the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in snacks. The amount of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
contents in dinner is not
preferably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for healthy diet.
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IELTS academic THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF THEIR DAILY INTAKE OF VARIOUS NUTRIENTS THA AVERAGE PERSON IN USA CONSUMES IN EACH MEAL AND IN SNACKS. THESE NUTRIENTS MAY BE UNHEALTHY IF EATEN TOO MUCH.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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