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These tables demonstrate sales of two poducts within Fairtrade product, coffee and bananas in years 1999 and 2004.

These tables demonstrate sales of two poducts within Fairtrade product, coffee and bananas in years 1999 and 2004. each table represents one of the products' sales in 5 countries including UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden for both mentioned years. Units are in millions of euros. These tables demonstrate sales size of two Fairtrade-labelled products, coffee and bananas, in years 1994 and 2004 amoung five countires located in Europe, including UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden. Units are reported in millions of euros. Coffee which labelled as a Fairtrade product has been sold mostly in Switzerland in 1999 as a value of 3 million euros. On the other hand, 5 years later in 2004, the dramatic 13 fold increase in coffee sales made UK the main consumer of coffee among these five countries. Similarly, Switzerland and Belgium experinced a raise in Fairtrade coffee sales in 2004 in comparision to 1999. However, the other two countries, Dansih and Swedish farmers sold coffee nearly as same as the amount they had sold back in 1999. Fairtrade-labelled bananas in 1999 totally sold as 15 million of euros where other countries all together sold bananas as 5. 4 million euros in the same time. Switzerland, UK and Belgium boosted their bananas sales up to 47, 5. 5 and 4 million euros respectively by 2004 where Sweden and Denmark decided to lower their Fairtrade bananas sales by approximately 50 percent in the same period. To sum up, it is clear to see that UK and Switzerland are two major producers of the so called Fairtrade products. Switzerland is the top seller of bananas in both years where UK sold the most coffee in 2004.
These tables demonstrate
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sales
of two
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poducts
within
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Fairtrade
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product
,
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coffee
and bananas in years 1999 and 2004.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
each
table represents one of the products'
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sales
in 5
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countries
including UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden for both mentioned years. Units are in
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millions
of euros.

These tables demonstrate
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sales
size of two
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Fairtrade-labelled
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products
,
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coffee
and bananas, in years 1994 and 2004
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amoung
five
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countires
located in Europe, including UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden. Units
are reported
in
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millions
of euros.

Coffee which labelled as a
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Fairtrade
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product
has
been sold
mostly
in Switzerland in 1999 as a value of 3
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million
euros.
On the other hand
, 5 years later in 2004, the dramatic
It seems that a hyphen is missing in the adjective or adverb “13-fold”?
13 fold
increase in
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coffee
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sales
made UK the main consumer of
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coffee
among these five
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countries
.
Similarly
, Switzerland and Belgium
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experinced
a raise in
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Fairtrade
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coffee
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sales
in 2004 in
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comparision
to 1999.
However
, the other two
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countries
,
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Dansih
and Swedish farmers sold
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coffee
nearly
as same as the amount they had sold back in 1999.

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Fairtrade-labelled
bananas in 1999
totally
sold as 15
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million
of euros where other
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countries
all together sold bananas as 5. 4
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million
euros in the same time. Switzerland, UK and Belgium boosted their bananas
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sales
up to 47, 5. 5 and 4
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million
euros
respectively
by 2004 where Sweden and Denmark decided to lower their
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Fairtrade
bananas
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sales
by approximately 50 percent in the same period.

To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that UK and Switzerland are two major producers of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
called
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Fairtrade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Switzerland is the top seller of bananas in both
It is better to use ‘years’ with the time-relative pronoun ‘when’: “years when”. (Alternatively, use ‘in/on which’)
years where
UK sold the most
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coffee
in 2004.
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IELTS academic These tables demonstrate sales of two poducts within Fairtrade product, coffee and bananas in years 1999 and 2004.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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