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These pictorials are of line graph, and these illustrates the information about the number of travellers travelled by train in Sydney and the ratio of trains which run on exact timing during the span of 10 years.

These pictorials are of line graph, and these illustrates the information about the number of travellers travelled by train in Sydney and the ratio of trains which run on exact timing during the span of 10 years. qLl1P
Overall, at a fleeting glance, it is immensely clear that in 2001, the maximum number of passengers travelled by train whereas in 1995, the minimum digit of visitors used train. On the other hand, in 1995, the highest ratio of trains went on exact time while in 2004, it became the smallest segment. To begin with, in 1995, the number of travellers were 250 million, and from 1995 to 1999, the figure of passengers inclined slowly. After that, there was a significant rise in the number of visitors who used train from 268 million in 1999 to 300 million in 2001. During the period of 2002 to 2004, the number of commuters remained constant at 280 million. Further moving to another graph, in 1995, the proportion of trains which went on time was 92%, and in the following years, it declined gradually and stood at 85% in 1997. Between 1997 and 2004, there was a little bit fluctuation in the frequency of trains. From 2000 and 2002, its ration plunged up by 8% then the percentage of trains dropped drastically in the following years, and reached at around 71% in 2004.
Overall
, at a fleeting glance, it is
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in 2001, the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of passengers travelled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
whereas in 1995, the minimum digit of visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
.
On the other hand
, in 1995, the highest ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
went on exact time while in 2004, it became the smallest segment. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 1995, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
were 250
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million
, and from 1995 to 1999, the figure of passengers inclined
slowly
. After that, there was a significant rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
from 268
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1999 to 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2001. During the period of 2002 to 2004, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of commuters remained constant at 280
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
moving to another graph, in 1995, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
which went on time was 92%, and in the following years, it declined
gradually
and stood at 85% in 1997. Between 1997 and 2004, there was a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
fluctuation in the frequency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
.
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "From 2000 to 2002"?
From 2000 and 2002
, its ration plunged up by 8% then the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
dropped
drastically
in the following years, and reached at around 71% in 2004.
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IELTS academic These pictorials are of line graph, and these illustrates the information about the number of travellers travelled by train in Sydney and the ratio of trains which run on exact timing during the span of 10 years.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
191 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • These pictorials are of line graph, and these illustrates the information about the number of travellers travelled by train in Sydney and the ratio of trains which run on exact timing during the span of 10 years.