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The two maps illustrate changes to Grange Park between 1920 to present.

The two maps illustrate changes to Grange Park between 1920 to present. NVxLm
The two maps illustrate changes to Grange Park between 1920 to present. We can see that the park made many changes, including a new play area and entertainment facilities. Overall, it is clear that the public park changed and expanded during this period. In 1920, a fountain was built in the middle of the park, but now it was utterly destroyed, and the former was replaced by a large rose garden surrounded by many seats. There was a glasshouse next to the entrance in the past, whereas now a water feature is there. What is more, Amphitheatre for concerts was created to the far left opposite the rose garden. Furthermore, both the entrances at the top and bottom of the map have remained untouched. Previously, There were two rose gardens on the north and south of the stage and one on the right of the northern entry, with many seats placed next to them, but now only the one on the north existed. When it comes to general purposes, They also developed a new children’s play area nearby a new café.
The two maps illustrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
between 1920 to present. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, including a new play area and entertainment facilities.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and expanded during this period.

In 1920, a fountain
was built
in the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it was
utterly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
, and the former
was replaced
by a large rose garden surrounded by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
seats. There was a glasshouse
next
to the entrance in the past, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a water feature is there.
What is more
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'Amphitheatre' is British English.
Amphitheatre
for concerts
was created
to the far
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
opposite the rose garden.

Furthermore
, both the entrances at the top and bottom of the map have remained untouched. Previously, There were two rose gardens on the north and south of the stage and one on the right of the northern entry, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
seats placed
next
to them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the one on the north existed. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to general purposes, They
also
developed a new children’s play area nearby a new café.
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IELTS academic The two maps illustrate changes to Grange Park between 1920 to present.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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