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The two diagrams provide information on the revisions of one cinema from a year of 1980 until present day

The two diagrams provide information on the revisions of one cinema from a year of 1980 until present day 866Pr
The two diagrams provide information on the revisions of one cinema from a year of 1980 until present day. Overall, the cinema has underwent a significant remodeling work during the period, notably the construction of some additional cinemas and the supplementation of various other new recreational services. In 1980, the cinema was approximately vacant with the main entrance in the lower area, which surrounded by a few auxiliary facilities to the right and a cinema, namely Cinema 1 to the immediate left. At the opposite side of the entrance, there was an enormous car park, while in the center of the area, another cinema was constructed to the right-hand side and the toilet was in the left. The cinema was then extensively renovated with the most noticeable modification was the demolishment of the car park to make room for Cinema 2 and another additional cinema on the top of the plans. To the open area where the Cinema 2 used to be positioned, two other novel cinemas was then erected. An area to the bottom left corner of the plan in which drinks were served in 1980, was converted into the DVD shop while this location and a new room for relaxation were established, taking up the space where there was once Cinema 1. During the given period, the toilet and ticket booth remained fairly unchanged.
The two diagrams provide information on the revisions of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
from a year of 1980 until present day.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
has
Use past participle here: "undergone".
underwent
a significant remodeling work during the period,
notably
the construction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
and the supplementation of various other new recreational services.

In 1980, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
was approximately vacant with the main entrance in the lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, which surrounded by a few auxiliary facilities to the right and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
,
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cinema
1 to the immediate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
. At the opposite side of the entrance, there was an enormous car park, while in the center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
was constructed
to the right-hand side and the toilet was in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
was then
extensively
renovated with the most noticeable modification was the
Possible spelling mistake found.
demolishment
of the car park to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
room for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cinema
2 and another additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
on the top of the plans. To the open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cinema
2
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be positioned
, two other novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
was then erected. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to the bottom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
corner of the plan in which drinks
were served
in 1980,
was converted
into the DVD shop while this location and a new room for relaxation
were established
, taking up the space where there was once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cinema
1. During the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, the toilet and ticket booth remained
fairly
unchanged.
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IELTS academic The two diagrams provide information on the revisions of one cinema from a year of 1980 until present day

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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