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The chart below shows the proportion of divorce rate in Finland and Sweden from 2011 to 2015.

The chart below shows the proportion of divorce rate in Finland and Sweden from 2011 to 2015. obb7b
The rendered bar graph depicts information regarding the percentum of divorce level in two different nations between 2011 and 2015. In gist, an overall observation demonstrate that Finland followed the rising trend, whilst opposite trend was displayed by sweden. Both regions was having some fluctuations in the given time period. At a fleeting glance, it is immensely clear that the ratio of Finland's divorce rate was about 46% in the initial year, while it was declined to slightly more than 30% in the following year. In 2013, there was a steady incline in the proportion of approximately four percent. However, it was accounting around, 40% in the year 2014, and remained stable in the eventual year. Further scrutinizing the graph, as regards Sweden in 2011, the percentage of divorce rate was hovering between the range of 30 and 40%, whereas it was surged by around 4% in the subsequent year, and started following downward trend after 2012, which was witnessed to be almost 45% in the penultimate year, before reaching at the least ratio of 37%.
The rendered bar graph depicts information regarding the
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
of divorce level in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations between 2011 and 2015.

In gist, an
overall
observation demonstrate that Finland followed the rising trend, whilst opposite trend
was displayed
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
sweden
. Both regions
You should probably use: "were".
was
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.

At a fleeting glance, it is
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the ratio of Finland's divorce rate was about 46% in the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, while it
was declined
to
slightly
more than 30% in the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In 2013, there was a steady incline in the proportion of approximately four percent.
However
, it was accounting around, 40% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2014, and remained stable in the eventual year.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
scrutinizing the graph, as regards Sweden in 2011, the percentage of divorce rate was hovering between the range of 30 and 40%, whereas it
was surged
by around 4% in the subsequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
following downward trend after 2012, which
was witnessed
to be almost 45% in the penultimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching at the least ratio of 37%.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportion of divorce rate in Finland and Sweden from 2011 to 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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