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The table shows the proportion of people

The table shows the proportion of people 3YyNb
The tabular chart shows the proportion of students attending four different types of secondary school during nine years. The data is calibrated in percentage. Overall, it is quite evident that out of four types of schools, the attendance of students in three schools showed a negative trend while community school revealed a positive trend over the given years. It is clear from the graph, the majority of students were seen in community schools in 2009 with 58% while the least number of students was found in specialist schools in the same year at 10%. At the eye-catching point of the chart, there was a meager change in specialist school student’s attendance; their attendance remained near about one-tenth in all three years. The noteworthy point, the student attendance in grammar school showed a negative trend as attendance decreased to its half in the end from 24% in 2000 to 12% in 2009. The voluntary controlled school was the most popular school with the second-highest attendance in school in the initial year, however; it declined from 52% to 20% in the end
The tabular chart
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shows
the proportion of
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students
attending four
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different
types of secondary
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school
during nine years. The data
is calibrated
in percentage.

Overall
, it is quite evident that out of four types of
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schools
, the
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attendance
of
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students
in three
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schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend while community
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school
revealed a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.

It is
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clear
from the graph, the majority of
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students
were
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seen
in community
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schools
in 2009 with 58% while the least number of
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students
was found
in specialist
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schools
in the same
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year
at 10%. At the eye-catching point of the chart, there was a meager
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change
in specialist
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school
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student’s
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attendance
; their
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attendance
remained near about one-tenth in all three years. The noteworthy point, the
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student
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attendance
in grammar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attendance
decreased to its half in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
from 24% in 2000 to 12% in 2009. The voluntary controlled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was the most popular
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school
with the second-highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attendance
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the initial
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year
,
however
; it declined from 52% to 20% in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
end
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IELTS academic The table shows the proportion of people

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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