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the chart illustrate about the average number of minutes of phone conversations in the United Kingdom and separated into three diffirent categories between the time period of 1995 and 2002,

the chart illustrate about the average number of minutes of phone conversations in the United Kingdom and separated into three diffirent categories between the time period of 1995 and 2002, VQWWJ
to commence with, the mobiles including all calls were the lowest one in 1995, however, this figure have significantly increased to almost from 2 minutes to 45 minutes in billions untill 2002 year. For ithe national and international calls, there was also a drammatic increase from approximately 35 minutes to 61 minutes between 1995 and 2002. To move for local calls, it has drammatically soared up to 90 minutes in 1998, but after that time it fell to almost the same calls with the total calls of 1995 and it has remained almost constant again. As a result, mobiles an international calls had changed over the time period of 7 years, however, local calls have dropped almost 3 times untill 2002 compare to other years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
commence with, the mobiles including all
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calls
were the lowest one in 1995,
however
,
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "this figure has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this figure have
significantly
increased to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
from 2 minutes to 45 minutes in billions
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untill
2002 year. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
ithe
national and international
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calls
, there was
also
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
drammatic
increase from approximately 35 minutes to 61 minutes between 1995 and 2002. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
, it has
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drammatically
soared up to 90 minutes in 1998,
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but
after that time it fell to
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almost
the same
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calls
with the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
of 1995 and it has remained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
constant again.
As a result
, mobiles an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the time period of 7 years,
however
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
have dropped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
3 times
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
2002 compare to other years.
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IELTS academic the chart illustrate about the average number of minutes of phone conversations in the United Kingdom and separated into three diffirent categories between the time period of 1995 and 2002,

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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