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The table illustrates the research consequences which includes the percentage of Swedish adults that were involved in different cultural activities

The table illustrates the research consequences which includes the percentage of Swedish adults that were involved in different cultural activities PWaw2
The table illustrates the research consequences which includes the percentage of Swedish adults that were involved in different cultural activities. Overall, the category of dancing, singing, playing musical instruments and acting was the most prominent engagement among adults, which was about 3 times higher than on the other types of activities. The lowest participation proportion could be seen in the category of computer based in all 6 categories. The participation percentage of first category was generally higher than the other 5 activities. In terms of stage performance, the 16-24 aged people spent most time on this at 35%. The participation proportion of visual arts was also higher (30%) compared to computer based which was accounted the least figure by all adults (between 6%-10%). On the other hand, cultural purchases was chosen by 45-74 aged people mostly( 18%) while youngsters( 11%) showed the least proportion on this category. With regard to the proportion of different kinds of crafts, the 45-74 aged adults engaged most on this compared to other age categories. Writing was the last on the list with its low figures among all aged people.
The table illustrates the research consequences which includes the percentage of Swedish
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adults
that
were involved
in
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different
cultural activities.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
of dancing, singing, playing musical instruments and acting was the most prominent engagement among
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adults
, which was about 3 times higher than on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of activities. The lowest participation
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proportion
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
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category
of computer based in all 6
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categories
. The participation percentage of
first
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category
was
generally
higher than the
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other
5 activities.

In terms of stage performance, the 16-24
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aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent most time on this at 35%. The participation
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proportion
of visual arts was
also
higher (30%) compared to computer based which
was accounted
the least figure by all
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adults
(between 6%-10%). On the
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other
hand, cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
was chosen
by 45-74
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aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mostly
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
18%) while youngsters
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
11%)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the least
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proportion
on this category.

With regard to the
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proportion
of
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different
kinds of crafts, the 45-74
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aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
engaged most on this compared to
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other
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
categories
. Writing was the last on the list with its low figures among all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS academic The table illustrates the research consequences which includes the percentage of Swedish adults that were involved in different cultural activities

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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