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The table chart depicts information about the average age of retirement of male and female in different nations in 2009.

The table chart depicts information about the average age of retirement of male and female in different nations in 2009. 5bpGN
From _in depth _analysis of the chart makes it clear that in Australia, the retirement age of was 64 years 1month and the women at the age of 63 years 5 months. Thereafter, the American men got retired in the age of 65 years 6 months. whereas, in the USA, females were retired at the age of 64 years 2 months. However, Japan and Korea had the higher average of age retirement of both genders, japanese males accounted for 67 years 4months and 68 years 2 months respectively. In terms of Italy and France, males got their retirement at the age of 58years 2months and 57 years 8 months accordingly. Italian women's were retired at the age of 57 years 3 months. In contrast, in France, females got retirement at the age of 67years 2 months. Overall, it is clear that, Korea had maximum retirement age for both genders whereas, Japan had minimum years of age of retirement.
From _in depth _analysis of the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in Australia, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
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age
of was 64 years
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1month
and the women at the
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age
of 63 years 5
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months
. Thereafter, the American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
retired in the
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age
of 65 years 6
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months
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, in the USA, females
were retired
at the
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age
of 64 years 2
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months
.
However
, Japan and Korea had the higher average of
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age
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retirement
of both genders,
Possible spelling mistake found.
japanese
males accounted for 67 years
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4months
and 68 years 2
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months
respectively
. In terms of Italy and France, males
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
their
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retirement
at the
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age
of 58years
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2months
and 57 years 8
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months
accordingly
. Italian women's
were retired
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 57 years 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
.
In contrast
, in France, females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 67years 2 months.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, Korea had maximum
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retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for both genders whereas, Japan had minimum years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
.

IELTS academic The table chart depicts information about the average age of retirement of male and female in different nations in 2009.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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