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The table below shows the sales of a small restaurant in a downtown business district

The table below shows the sales of a small restaurant in a downtown business district PDoJ
A glance at the table provided reveals the income from dinner and lunch at a small restaurant in an enterprise zone during the second week of October. The most striking fact to emerge from the table is that the sales followed an upward trend from Monday to Friday and then displayed a notable decline on the weekend. With regards to lunch, the luncheon sales averaged approximately $2, 400 with the highest result occurring on Wednesday and the lowest on Sunday with values of 2595$ and 1150$ respectively. On the contrary, the sales of dinner peaked on Friday at over 4300$ and took a nosedive on Sunday to 2450$. The most profitable day during the week shown was Friday and the least was Sunday. Sunday’s lunch and dinner sales combined were less than Friday’s dinner sales only. It is explicitly observed that dinnertime brought far more profit than lunchtime during the given period.
A glance at the table provided reveals the income from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
and lunch at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
restaurant in an enterprise zone during the second week of October. The most striking fact to emerge from the table is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
followed an upward trend from Monday to Friday and then displayed a notable decline on the weekend.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
lunch, the luncheon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
averaged approximately $2, 400 with the highest result occurring on Wednesday and the lowest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sunday
with values of
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$2595".
2595$
and
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1150".
1150$
respectively
.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
peaked on Friday at over
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$4300".
4300$
and took a nosedive on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sunday
to
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$2450".
2450$
. The most profitable day during the week shown was Friday and the least was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sunday
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sunday’s
lunch and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
combined were less than Friday’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

It is
explicitly
observed that dinnertime brought far more profit than lunchtime during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

IELTS academic The table below shows the sales of a small restaurant in a downtown business district

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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