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The table below shows the employment rate and the salary of graduates studying in six different courses in a particular in 2009.

The table below shows the employment rate and the salary of graduates studying in six different courses in a particular in 2009. nxrGg
The table illustrates the rate of employment and the average annual salary of graduates studying in various courses in a certain in 2009. Overall the rate of employment of graduates studying in health course was highest among six different courses, while an opposite trend could be seen in tue figure for engineer. Interestingly, on average, each student in IT field received a highest income in any others courses. In more detail, the employment rate of graduates studying in health course was about 93%, compared to 87% for IT course and 86% for art course. In addition, the percentage of employment rating of graduates studying in business field stood at 78%, while the figures for sports and engineer were lower at 72% and 63% respectively. Looking at the table in more information, Standing at $59000, the average number of money was earned by IT student was nearly 2 times as much as higher than that by engineer. At the same time, Art student also followed a very similar pattern to IT student in term of the number of money which was earned by graduates students. Finally, on average, each student in business field received about $52000, compared to $42000 in health course and about $50000 in sports course.
The table illustrates the rate of
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employment
and the
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average
annual salary of
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graduates
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studying
in various
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courses
in a certain in 2009.
Overall
the rate of
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employment
of
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graduates
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studying
in health
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course
was highest among six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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courses
, while an opposite trend could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
tue
figure for engineer.
Interestingly
, on
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average
, each
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student
in IT field received
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest income in any others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. In more detail, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
was about 93%, compared to 87% for IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and 86% for art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
In addition
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rating of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in business field stood at 78%, while the figures for sports and engineer were lower at 72% and 63%
respectively
. Looking at the table in more information, Standing at $59000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
number of money
was earned
by IT
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student
was
nearly
2 times as much as higher than that by engineer. At the same time, Art
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student
also
followed a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar pattern to IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in term of the number of money which
was earned
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Finally
, on
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average
, each
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student
in business field received about $52000, compared to $42000 in health
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course
and about $50000 in sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the employment rate and the salary of graduates studying in six different courses in a particular in 2009.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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