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The represented charts illustrate the number of engagements between foreign and local students in Australian universities over the 10 years period time.

The represented charts illustrate the number of engagements between foreign and local students in Australian universities over the 10 years period time. Ea2D
The represented charts illustrate the number of engagements between foreign and local students in Australian universities over the 10 years period time. Overall, the local area students were the vast majority of the total students sector, however the commencing sector was ahead of the foreign student. In terms of, the local students were starting 400000 in 2001 in total, which raised gradually, although in 2007 it's reached the 600000 and during the time period of 2007 to 2010 it remains in the same position. The commencing area somewhat appears changed in 2002 the ratio was a little over 200000. On the other hand, the foreign students total was starting 20000 in 2001 that increased rapidly in every year and in 2010 the proportion was approximately 81000, furthermore, the commencing area of the foreign students begin from nearly 10000 in 2001, which raised steadily until 2006 and the amount was around 20000, while the time period of 2007 to 2009 increased dramatically by 40000 though in 2010 the number shows slightly changed.
The represented charts illustrate the number of engagements between
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foreign
and local
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students
in Australian universities over the 10 years period time.

Overall
, the local area
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students
were the vast majority of the total
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students
sector,
however
the commencing sector was ahead of the
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foreign
student.

In terms of, the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were starting 400000 in 2001 in total, which raised
gradually
, although in 2007 it's reached the 600000 and during the time period of 2007 to 2010 it remains in the same position. The commencing area somewhat appears
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in 2002 the ratio was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
over 200000.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
total was starting 20000 in 2001 that increased
rapidly
in every year and in 2010 the proportion was approximately 81000,
furthermore
, the commencing area of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
from
nearly
10000 in 2001, which raised
steadily
until 2006 and the amount was around 20000, while the time period of 2007 to 2009 increased
dramatically
by 40000 though in 2010 the number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
slightly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
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IELTS academic The represented charts illustrate the number of engagements between foreign and local students in Australian universities over the 10 years period time.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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