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The rendered table data depicts the proportion of market share of notebook computers manufacture in year between 2006 and 2007.

The rendered table data depicts the proportion of market share of notebook computers manufacture in year between 2006 and 2007. NMR6m
Having a myopic look on the table, it is crystal clear that the highest HP and dell shared market in 2006, which was 31. 4% and 16. 6%. it slightly increased to 34% and 20. 2% in 2007. The acer was around 11. 6 % in 2006 and decreased to 0. 5% in the last year. The Toshiba and Lenovo greatest in 2007. On scrutinizing it can be seen that the fijusta siemens were found to 4. 5% and 2. 3% respectively in both year. The other companies shared second highest share, which was 8%. And the figure slightly dropped abd reached 19. 3%. Hence, it is lucid that the HP greater distribution in the both year and the lowest distribution of fujista siemens come.
Having a myopic look on the table, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the highest HP and dell shared market in 2006, which was 31. 4% and 16. 6%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
slightly
increased to 34% and 20. 2% in 2007. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
acer
was around 11. 6 % in 2006 and decreased to 0. 5% in the
‘last year’ indicates a finished event of the past. Please check the predicate's tense.
last year
. The Toshiba and Lenovo greatest in 2007.

On scrutinizing it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fijusta
siemens
were found
to 4. 5% and 2. 3%
respectively
in both year. The other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
shared second highest share, which was 8%. And the figure
slightly
dropped
Possible spelling mistake found.
abd
reached 19. 3%.

Hence
, it is lucid that the HP greater distribution in the both year and the lowest distribution of
Possible spelling mistake found.
fujista
siemens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

IELTS academic The rendered table data depicts the proportion of market share of notebook computers manufacture in year between 2006 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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