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the process of matches manufacture and preparation for sale

the process of matches manufacture and preparation for sale APRww
The diagram illustrates the process of matches manufacture and preparation for sale on the market. Overall, it is apparent that there are several stages in the production of matches. The process begins with cutting the wood and ends at the packing stage Looking at the first stage of the production of matchsticks, a log of wood is placed in a peeler and rotated while blade peels a thin of wood, called veneer. These veneers are then chopped to small sticks in the second stage. Next, small sticks will be soaked in tank of ammonium phosphate. In the following stage, soaked sticks are placed in rolling dryer. After that, the matches are blown in hopper and passed through metal duct to the storage area. In the next stage, the matchsticks in storage area are fall into funnel-shaped device, which will be lined up and inserted into a perforated steel belt. While the belt moves along, the tips of matchsticks are dipped in three tanks, paraffin wax, based chemicals, tip chemical respectively. In the following stage the matches moved to drying area. Finally, the matchsticks are packaged.
The diagram illustrates the process of matches manufacture and preparation for sale on the market.
Overall
, it is apparent that there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
in the production of matches.

The process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with cutting the wood and ends at the packing stage

Looking at the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
of the production of matchsticks, a log of wood
is placed
in a peeler and rotated while blade peels
The phrase 'a thin of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a thin of
wood, called veneer.

These veneers are then chopped to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sticks in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
.
Next
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sticks will
be soaked
in tank of ammonium phosphate. In the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, soaked sticks
are placed
in rolling dryer. After that, the matches
are blown
in hopper and passed through metal duct to the storage area.

In the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, the matchsticks in storage area are fall into funnel-shaped device, which will
be lined
up and inserted into a perforated steel belt. While the belt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
along, the tips of matchsticks
are dipped
in three tanks, paraffin wax, based chemicals, tip chemical
respectively
. In the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
the matches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to drying area.
Finally
, the matchsticks
are packaged
.
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IELTS academic the process of matches manufacture and preparation for sale

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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