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The process of making the pears

The process of making the pears mbNbA
The table introduces the process of making the pear canned food. Overall, it exists from several stages and beginning from collecting the fruits and finishing with selling it in stores. To start with, harvest of pears is transferred to one certain place so then in order to clean them. Next is checking the quality, when workers leave good fruits but throw away the spoiled pears. Afterwards, fruits are holding in one room and then people estimate the weight of pears and grading them. On the next step, pears are cleaned and sliced in order to remove the peel that covers the fruit. Then pears are coring to two pieces and putting into the big containers that's canning it. The machine is sealed and crushed the pears. Subsequently, after the mass have cooked and sterilised, they have put into the tin that is labelling with small piece of paper. Finally, the tins are taken to the storage so after it is despatched to the stores and markets.
The table introduces the process of making the pear canned food.
Overall
, it exists from several stages and beginning from collecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
and finishing with selling it in stores.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, harvest of pears
is transferred
to one certain place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
then in order to clean them.
Next
is checking the quality, when workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
throw away the spoiled pears. Afterwards,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
are holding in one room and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
estimate the weight of pears and grading them. On the
next
step, pears
are cleaned
and sliced in order to remove the peel that covers the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
. Then pears are coring to two pieces and putting into the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
containers that's canning it. The machine
is sealed
and crushed the pears.
Subsequently
, after the mass have cooked and
Possible spelling mistake. 'sterilised' is British English.
sterilised
, they have put into the tin
that is
labelling with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
piece of paper.

Finally
, the tins
are taken
to the storage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
after it
is despatched
to the stores and markets.
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IELTS academic The process of making the pears

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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