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The two pie charts compiles information taken from a survey which focused on the participation of various cultural and leisure activities by both the genders.

The two pie charts compiles information taken from a survey which focused on the participation of various cultural and leisure activities by both the genders. j5g8a
In general, we can conclude that the most popular activity that was common amongst boys and girls was listening to music, a larger proportion of the activity preferred by girls were reading. Although, there were major differences in the activities participated by both the genders especially in the area of sports. Boys majorly preferred playing computer games, which accounted for about 34% in the pie chart. Basketball and soccer was the second and third activity that was chosen to take part in by them. (26% and 17%) Following these sports, were Skateboarding and listening to music occupied a very minor part of the pie chart and the least cultural activities that were performed by boys was reading and it was only 2% of the chart. Inspecting the chart very precisely, we can notice that girls preferred to dance (27%) rather than playing computer games unlike their male counterpart. About one-fifth or more than that rate of girls chose reading books as their cultural activity. Similarly, to skateboarding girls showcased their interest in gymnastics (11%). Least activity that they went for was listening to music that proportioned to about 10% of the whole pie chart.
In general
, we can conclude that the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that was common amongst boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
was listening to music, a larger proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
preferred by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were reading.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there were major differences in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
participated by both the genders
especially
in the area of sports.

Boys
majorly
preferred playing computer games, which accounted for about 34% in the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
. Basketball and soccer was the second and third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that
was chosen
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in by them. (26% and 17%) Following these sports, were Skateboarding and listening to music occupied a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
minor part of the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
and the least cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
were performed
by boys was reading and it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% of the chart.

Inspecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precisely
, we can notice that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
preferred to dance (27%)
rather
than playing computer games unlike their male counterpart. About one-fifth or more than that rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
chose reading books as their cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Similarly
, to skateboarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
showcased their interest in gymnastics (11%).
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Least".
Least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that they went for was listening to music that proportioned to about 10% of the whole pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
.
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IELTS academic The two pie charts compiles information taken from a survey which focused on the participation of various cultural and leisure activities by both the genders.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
194 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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