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The full time education and the part time education

The full time education and the part time education nNpEn
The chart illustrates the full time education and the part time education of the male and the female in the three different periods. Overall, the number of male studying part time education is more than the women in 1970/71 but female are more than male in 1990/91. The full time education in 1970/71 for the male are higher than the female. On the other, female are more than male in 1990/91. The number of male part time educators (1000) is more than female part time educatorsin 1970/71. In 1990/91, the female part time educators is more than male. The male full time educators (less than 100) are more than the female in 1970/71. On the otherhand, in 1980/81 the female full time educators are in greater than the male and in 1990/91 the number of male and female are almost equal(greater than 200).
The chart illustrates the
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full
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time
education and the
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part
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time
education

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of
the male and the
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female
in the three
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different
periods.

Overall
, the number of male studying
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part
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time
education is more than the

women in 1970/71
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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female
are more than male in 1990/91. The
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full
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time


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
education
in 1970/71 for the male are higher than the
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female
. On the other,

female are more than male in 1990/91.

The number of male
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part
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time
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educators
(1000) is more than
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female
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time


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educatorsin
1970/71. In 1990/91, the
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female
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part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
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educators
is more than male.

The male
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full
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time
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educators
(less than 100) are more than the female

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in
1970/71. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherhand
, in 1980/81 the
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female
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full
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time
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educators
are in
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greater


Did you mean "Then"?
than
the male and in 1990/91 the number of male and
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female
are almost equal(greater than 200).
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IELTS academic The full time education and the part time education

Academic
  American English
9 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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