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The process chart illustrates the information about how to pasteurized milk and how to make different products from milk such as cheese cream and butter.

The process chart illustrates the information about how to pasteurized milk and how to make different products from milk such as cheese cream and butter. g58Nl
The process chart illustrates the information about how to pasteurized milk and how to make different products from milk such as cheese cream and butter. The process is very easy and indicates the key stages in the process. Firstly, the cows are grazing on the field and take to the area where milking machine is placed. The milk is taken by milking machine twice day then milk is stored into refrigerator. In the third stage, milk tanker collect milk from refrigeration storage daily and delivered to daily for further process. Secondly, at dairy, milk is used two ways some of the milk is pasteurized and packed in the bottles. Additionally, these bottles send to supermarket and shops for sale. However, some of the milk has been used to make cheese cream and butter all these products have been also sent for sale. Overall, this process started with grazing and ends with milk and all this milk products have been sent to supermarket for customers. The process needs very less equipment.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
chart illustrates the information about how to pasteurized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
such as cheese cream and butter. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy and indicates the key stages in the process.

Firstly
, the cows are grazing on the field and take to the area where milking machine
is placed
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is taken
by milking machine twice day then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is stored
into refrigerator. In the third stage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
tanker collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
from refrigeration storage daily and delivered to daily for
further
process.

Secondly
, at dairy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
two ways
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is pasteurized
and packed in the bottles.
Additionally
, these bottles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to supermarket and shops for sale.
However
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
cheese cream and butter all these products have been
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for sale.

Overall
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with grazing and ends with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and all this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
products have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to supermarket for customers. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less equipment.
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IELTS academic The process chart illustrates the information about how to pasteurized milk and how to make different products from milk such as cheese cream and butter.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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