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the problems faced by children in two primary schools

the problems faced by children in two primary schools DVjYm
The provided table graph reveals seven different educational difficulties which students have to deal with in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015. In general, it is evident that there were more students in school A facing difficulties than school B in both two years. Additionally, the percentage of students facing problems in school A in 2005 was more than that in 2015, while the rate of students having difficulties in school B in 2005 was similar to that in 2015. In school A, the proportion of students having problems in reading ability, handwriting remained unchanged, at 23% and 28% respectively from 2005 to 2015. Besides, the rate of pupils facing difficulties in concentration in lessons, following instructions in school A fell dramatically, to 18%. Likewise, there was a considerable drop in the data for students finding it difficult in listening skills and verbal expression of ideas, of approximately 15% during the same period. In addition, the percentage of pupils having problems in spelling in school A witnessed a slight decrease, from 30% to 25%. In school B, there were no significant changes in the figure for students having difficulties in reading ability, handwriting, listening skills, verbal expression of ideas, concentration in lessons from 2005 to 2015. Furthermore, there was a two-fold rise in the proportion of pupils facing problems in spelling, following instructions over the given time span.
The provided table graph reveals seven
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different
educational
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difficulties
which
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students
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have to
deal with in two primary
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schools
in 2005 and 2015.

In general
, it is evident that there were more
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students
in
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school
A facing
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difficulties
than
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school
B in both two years.
Additionally
, the percentage of
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students
facing
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problems
in
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school
A in 2005 was more than that in 2015, while the rate of
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students
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having
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difficulties
in
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school
B in 2005 was similar to that in 2015.

In
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school
A, the proportion of
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students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in reading ability, handwriting remained unchanged, at 23% and 28%
respectively
from 2005 to 2015.
Besides
, the rate of pupils facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficulties
in concentration in lessons, following instructions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
A fell
dramatically
, to 18%.
Likewise
, there was a considerable drop in the data for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
finding it difficult in listening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and verbal expression of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, of approximately 15% during the same period.
In addition
, the percentage of pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in spelling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
A witnessed a slight decrease, from 30% to 25%.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
B, there were no significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficulties
in reading ability, handwriting, listening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, verbal expression of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, concentration in lessons from 2005 to 2015.
Furthermore
, there was a two-fold rise in the proportion of pupils facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in spelling, following instructions over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time span.
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IELTS academic the problems faced by children in two primary schools

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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