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The presented pie charts elucidate the percentage of various hobbies which was often done by adult in Europe in the two different years, 1985 and 1995.

The presented pie charts elucidate the percentage of various hobbies which was often done by adult in Europe in the two different years, 1985 and 1995. 26MLb
The presented pie charts elucidate the percentage of various hobbies which was often done by adults in Europe in the two different years, 1985 and 1995. As an overall trend, watching TV was the most common activities that European adults do in their leisure time, while relating to their families was the least popular activities. In the initial year, the proportion of grown European spent their time to watch TV was the highest among others, 32%, whereas talking with family was over half lower than watching TV. Moreover, about 20% of grown European were more enjoyed eating out and talking to their friends. In addition, some adults preferred other activities were 6%. By 1995, there were no different from the beginning year as watching TV was still widely enjoyed which accounted slightly similar as before. Meanwhile, there was a new trend in which playing computer games was the second popular with a little below 3% from watching TV. The percentage of adults playing computer games was also the same as relating to friends, above a quarter. Furthermore, eating out and talking with relatives were the most uncommon hobbies in 1995, while other hobbies were preferred by 2% grown European.
The presented pie charts elucidate the percentage of various hobbies which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in Europe in the two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years, 1985 and 1995. As an
overall
trend, watching TV was the most common activities that European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
do in their leisure time, while relating to their families was the least popular activities.

In the initial year, the proportion of grown European spent their time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV was the highest among others, 32%, whereas talking with family was over half lower than watching TV.
Moreover
, about 20% of grown European were more enjoyed eating out and talking to their friends.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
preferred other activities were 6%.

By 1995, there were no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the beginning year as watching TV was
still
widely
enjoyed which accounted
slightly
similar as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Meanwhile, there was a new trend in which playing computer games was the second popular with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
below 3% from watching TV. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
playing computer games was
also
the same as relating to friends, above a quarter.
Furthermore
, eating out and talking with relatives were the most uncommon hobbies in 1995, while other hobbies
were preferred
by 2% grown European.
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IELTS academic The presented pie charts elucidate the percentage of various hobbies which was often done by adult in Europe in the two different years, 1985 and 1995.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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