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the plans below show a public park when it is first opened in 1920 and the same park today summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

the plans below show a public park when it is first opened in 1920 and the same park today 9O9r
The plans illustrates the development and changes made in grange park. The diagram shows outines of the park during 1920 when it is first opened and now. To begin with, when the park was first established it had seats placed in the corners at the outer side of the park. It had a fountain in the middle with the stage for musicians at the left side and two entrance were built one from the Arnold avenue and other from the eldon street. There were three Rose gardens at the corners of the park and a glass house located at the right hand corner with the pond for water plants opposite to the glass house. Presently, the park contains a cafe with an additional entrance from underground car park. Glass house is seen replaced water feature where as, children's play area took the place of the pond. The fountain was removed and a rose garden is planted in its place. The seats on now placed around the rose garden which is at the centre. In place of stage they constructed amphitheater for concerts. To conclude, a lot of changes took place during this hundred years improving the architecture of the park and providing people with new facilities.
The plans
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
the development and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
made in grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
Possible spelling mistake found.
outines
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
during 1920 when it is
first
opened and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was
first
established it had seats placed in the corners at the outer side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. It had a fountain in the middle with the stage for musicians at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side and two entrance
were built
one from the Arnold avenue and other from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
eldon
street. There were three Rose gardens at the corners of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and a glass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
located at the
Did you mean the adjective "right-hand"?
right hand
corner with the pond for water plants opposite to the glass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Presently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
contains a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
with an additional entrance from underground car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. Glass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
replaced water feature
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
, children's play area took the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of the pond. The fountain
was removed
and a rose garden
is planted
in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. The seats on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
placed around the rose garden which is at the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of stage they constructed amphitheater for concerts.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
during this hundred years improving the architecture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with new facilities.
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IELTS academic the plans below show a public park when it is first opened in 1920 and the same park today

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • the plans below show a public park when it is first opened in 1920 and the same park today summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant