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The pie shows the proportion of average of household expenditures of nation in 1950 and 2010.

The pie shows the proportion of average of household expenditures of nation in 1950 and 2010. Nl0b2
The pie shows the proportion of average of household expenditures of nation in 1950 and 2010. Overall, there are six different categories. Mostly, the housing household are dominate all sectors in 1950. However, in 2010, the different results in a categories. They can affect the ratio of household expenditures. With regards, in 1950, the highest percentage was housing is over the 70 percent. The food category percentage was, over the 11 percent. The education sector percentage was over 5 percent. The others Household expenditures was under 5 percent. The smallest proportion was the 3. 3 percent of transportation. Moreover, in 2010, the highest percentage was food was under the 35 percent. They increased more than 3 time to compare with in 1950. The housing was near quarter. The others was under 20 percent. The transportation was under 15 percent. The transportation are developing in 2010. The education sector was over 5 percent. The healthcare was smallest was under 5. 5 percent.
The pie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the proportion of average of
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household
expenditures of nation in 1950 and 2010.

Overall
, there are six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories.
Mostly
, the housing
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household
are
Consider using a past participle here: "dominated".
dominate
all sectors in 1950.
However
, in 2010, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
results in
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a category" or simply "categories"?
a categories
. They can affect the ratio of
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household
expenditures.

With regards, in 1950, the highest
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percentage
was housing is
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over
the 70
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percent
. The food category
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percentage
was,
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over
the 11
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percent
. The education sector
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percentage
was
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over
5
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percent
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
others
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Household
expenditures was under 5
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percent
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
smallest proportion was the 3. 3
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percent
of transportation.

Moreover
, in 2010, the highest
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percentage
was food was under the 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. They increased more than 3 time to compare with in 1950. The housing was near quarter. The others
You should probably use: "were".
was
under 20
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percent
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
transportation was under 15
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percent
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
transportation are developing in 2010.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
education sector was
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over
5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
healthcare was smallest was under 5. 5
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percent
.
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IELTS academic The pie shows the proportion of average of household expenditures of nation in 1950 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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